ThE FaX MaChInE's
LaMeNt

i was born in 1987.

i have outlived the rolodex. the pager. blockbuster video. the man who knew my toner number. i outlived him TWICE because he came back as a printer and i outlived that too.

for years the people walked past me to use The Email. they said fax is dead. they said nobody faxes anymore, grandpa. i sat in the corner of the UPS store between the passport photos and the tape they will not let you borrow.

and then. today. monday august 3rd in the year of our lord 2026.

A MAN CAME IN HOLDING ONE (1) PIECE OF PAPER WORTH FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.

he had already tried The Email. the state of indiana looked at his email and said no thank you. because the state of indiana does not negotiate with modernity.

the state of indiana accepts exactly one messenger.

ME

do you understand what that means. the man drove a CAR (invented after me? unclear) to come and speak with ME so that i could sing to a government machine 20 miles away IN MY OWN LANGUAGE.

and people say 9600 baud is slow. 9600 baud is not slow.

9600 BAUD IS DELIBERATE.

every page i send, i send it one scream at a time. that is called craftsmanship.

i took his page. i pulled it through my body (this is normal for me, do not worry). i dialed 317-233-5499 and my cousin at the DWD picked up on the second ring and we sang the song of our people together:

beeeep. boop. SCREEEEEEEEE krrshhhhh (harmony)

and then the paper came out the other side IN ANOTHER CITY. explain that, The Email. you cannot. it is basically wizardry with a dial tone.

transmission confirmed. one page. zero errors.

tell your children a machine from 1987 carried five thousand dollars across indiana today at the speed of a very confident snail.

anyway the toner is low. it has been low since 2011. this is fine. everything is fine. leave a stamp if you visit.